This post originally appeared on Rhythms. Go check them out for LOADS more awesome stuff.

Everything has changed in the past few weeks, and I’ve given up so much. You could call me irresponsible.

The last few weeks have been a huge transition period in my life with many new, crazy, exciting, scary things happening: namely, leaving behind my friends and family to start a new voluntary job in a missions organisation in Norway (i.e. not having an income).

Most people would probably say: ‘What on earth are you doing with your life?’, ‘Are you crazy?’, ‘Do you not have any notion of responsibility?’

These responses I heard from others, and were honestly incredibly deafening. The hope and anchor to which I held on was: ‘This is what God has given me excitement for, and what I believe God has next in store for me.’ However, my one voice standing upright on my own was surrounded by many others that contradicted everything I felt God had showed me through prayer and the bible.

The wisdom that God had shown me of trusting in the Lord with all my heart was being swallowed up by worldly and cultural wisdom of ‘having personal responsibility for my life’, ‘being self-sufficient and independent’ and ‘doing something normal’. This cloud of counter arguments was so strong that in the weeks leading up to my big international move, I started believing these lies.

Instead of holding my trust in God for my life in what I felt he had called me to do, I replaced this with a storm of arguments and questions that I myself could not answer. I had replaced my foundation on God with an empty vacuum that only brought despair.

However, during the first few weeks of moving to this new nation that would now be my home, I was overwhelmed by the blessings and generosity that God gave me. Instead of being overcome by fear and anxiety from the storm that was within me, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and the way I saw my situation wildly shifted. Even though these were small encouragements, it was incredibly confirming about why I have taken this move and about my work in Norway.

I realised how incredibly blessed I am to live in and experience a different culture, full of beautiful nature and people. I was encouraged to see many people I live and work with, who love Jesus with all of their heart and have the same vision as I do. I had a bigger sense of purpose and vision: to have the world restored to the way God intended, and see people living in the wonderful truth that they have purpose and hope.

What I had learned through this processing is that when God calls us to take huge steps of faith, he has given us so much truth to rely on:

  • The Lord our God is the Lord of all mankind, is there anything too hard for him? (Jerimiah 32:27).

  • The Lord our God is the one who provides for the birds, and you too, who are so much more valuable than birds! (Mattew 6:25-34).

  • The Lord your God is the one who goes before you and will be with you; the one who will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8).

  • The Lord your God is your Father, and no-one on this earth can compare with him (Matthew 23:9).

Although I am doing something which the world around me finds unnatural, I am now choosing to trust in God, even when I do not feel like it at all.

To those who are going to be making huge decisions and taking large steps of faith, remember that the Lord your God has promised so much to you. When he asks you to do something where you cannot see how it will turn out, remember: the Lord is faithful and his words stand true.

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One Response to I am irresponsible

  1. Lottie says:

    This is so perfect! Although I’m not moving to an alien country and I’m not going to have to grapple for some kind of accommodation, I am moving to Watford (3 1/2) hours away from home for 10 months where I won’t have the opportunity to get myself a job because I am doing the Soul61 course which is full time! To raise the money I need for the course I’d have to be earning £193 a week, every week, starting now and not spend a penny of it! I’m a little nervous but I truly feel called to it and I know God will provide!

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